Friday, July 12, 2019

Goddess Bunny: The Performance Artist Who Became the Star of a "Cursed Video"


First and foremost, I apologize for my long absence. I was doing some research on a different possible topic only to discover a video I thought was fake turned out to be very real, and it upset me to know I had just watched/listened to someone genuinely being tortured. Because of that, I had to step away and shake that off, but I'm back so let's get into one of my personal favorite topics: The Goddess Bunny.


In 2007, a strange video emerged on YouTube by the user "OBEYDAWALRUS." The actual title was similarly named "Obey the Walrus," and became the source of urban legends that went as far as to call it a cursed video. It opened with the character Andross, from Star Fox, singing a Spanish version of "The Itsy Bitsy Spider", that then breaks in to some psychedelic effects with the music sped up until the singer sounds reminiscent of Alvin and the Chipmunks. A few seconds later the song slows significantly and becomes loud and distorted while the scene suddenly cuts to what looks like an extremely emaciated girl awkwardly tap dancing with an umbrella. By the end of the song, the girl leans in to glare at the camera and it ends with a picture of a walrus. There are claims that the video is the product of a cult called La Morsa and that bad things will happen to anyone who views it.


Like all creepy YouTube videos, this one seemed to come out of nowhere and very little was known about the "scariest" part of the video, the dancing girl. Her presence alone was likely what led the video to the level of notoriety it gained, however it doesn't take much digging now to find out who she is as well as an explanation for her physical appearance. However, even though she is easy to look up, it doesn't mean her actual story is easy to confirm as she has told many versions of it. But I'll do the best I can to reconstruct what we know about her.

The dancer in question is a woman by the name of Sandie Crisp but is best known for her stage name, Goddess Bunny. Sandie was born in 1960 as John Baima. According to her, her mother gave birth to her at the top of a ferris wheel in Santa Monica, and has consistently stuck to that story though as of writing this, no one knows if that's actually true. As an infant, she contracted polio and became subject to a series of botched operations that only added to her physical disabilities. One of the operations, according to her mother, even involved attaching a Harrington Rod to her spine. Her emaciated appearance and the way she moves when she is on her feet are examples of the results of her condition.

And if you feel like an ass now for getting freaked out by how she looked in the video, don't worry. I did too.

Some time later she wound up in the foster care system, bouncing around from family to family while suffering from several types of abuse, including physical and sexual. Because she was handicapped, she was completely unable to fight back and the trauma for her was horrific. By the time she was 14, she managed to move back in with her mother and came out for the first time as transgender, identifying as a female and not a male. Her mother, however, did not accept her identity in the slightest and resorted to classic Bible thumping to try to convince her she was wrong, which eventually pushed Sandie into moving out and pursuing her dreams of having a career as a film actress.

Despite her condition, Sandie refused to resign herself to it and her motivation eventually brought her to Keith Holland, the man who filmed the original video of Sandie tap dancing and whose clips landed in the notorious, "Obey the Walrus," video. What needs to be noted about this video is the face that Sandie, who was mostly confined to a wheelchair at this point, was able to manage to get on her feet and dance for the camera, proving her ability to fight through the hurdles her life had thrown at her. And that's pretty incredible.


During the 80's, while living in Meadmore in Hollywood, Sandie grew a reputation of bringing home young gay prostitutes, claiming she was just doing her "Christian charity." Occasionally she would go back to living with her mother, but her mother's views on her gender identity never changed and the relationship was tumultuous at best. Despite this, Sandie began performing at the Limbo Lounge and caught the attention of filmmaker, Aes-Nihil, who went on to cast her in some of his films, including "The Drift." She quickly became an underground celebrity and fully embraced her role in this.

Over time, her performances grew more extreme and often offensive in nature, pushing for shock value above all. It never deterred her when she caused outrage, not even after getting punched one night by an offended audience member (the incident took place after she performed a piece as Eva Braun alongside another performer dressed as Adolf Hitler). "When you push the boundaries, then people all of a sudden open their eyes and see what you're trying to do. [You're] giving that extra push," she explained.


During the 90s, her career continued and she began to making cameos in film, including an appearance in Marilyn Manson's video, "The Dope Show." However she claimed she was often taken advantage of and not properly paid for her work. On top of this, her physical condition often caused her to be cast as the freak for the audience to gawk at, while Aes-Nihil set out to present her in his films as any other actress regardless of her condition.


Sandie eventually met a man by the name of Rocky who was a drag queen. The two fell in love and soon got married, however Rocky died suddenly and the cause of death is still unclear. One story says he was in prison and grew sick only to never recover. Another says he committed suicide by driving off a cliff. After his death, Sandie went on to join a band named partially after her called "Punk Bunny," but soon became homeless after the band member she was living with kicked her out into the streets. She wound up staying in homeless shelters but eventually ended up in an assisted living facility. Despite her identity as a woman, the facility refused to let her reside in the women's side and forced her to stay on the men's side. She still resides in that facility as of writing this, and I'm assuming she's still alive since I can't find any announcement of her death.

Since public knowledge of Sandie has grown over the years, the allegedly cursed video, "Obey the Walrus", has gradually become less of a scary find and more of a shameful one. It's an unfortunate example of how people with disabilities can often be treated as freaks rather than human beings who deserve the same dignity and respect as any other human. While Sandie has, in the past, consented to participating in roles that portray her as a freak, "Obey the Walrus" was not one of those instances which is why it garners criticism.

Sandie Crisp, the Goddess Bunny, stands as a motivating example of how perseverance in the face of obstacles can lead to a life filled with more stories and accomplishments rather than resigning yourself to your fate. While she was last documented as still living in the assisted living facility, her situation did become less sad. Her son, Hunter, became a consistent part of her life and she regularly takes in any friends she becomes close to and dubs them as part of her family.


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Tuesday, June 4, 2019

Dark Harvest: The Story of Scott Dyleski and Invader Zim


In my last blog, I discussed a bit about how there was and still is a consistent fear of the effects of certain subject matter on children. Video games and music are often the main targets for scrutiny, but TV and cinema have also fallen victim to this debate. Can the actions of an individual be blamed by the media they regularly consume? While my last post discussed some of the arguments against that ideology, as well as the consequences of taking that fear too far, allow me to take a moment to discuss yet another possible case of this that I'd never even heard of until fairly recently.


In 2001, Nickelodeon began airing a cartoon called "Invader Zim." The show told the story of an alien named Zim and his robot sidekick, GIR, as they attempted to help prepare for his people to invade Earth. In each episode, Zim was portrayed as highly intelligent but also highly stupid, typically failing in his endeavors with hilarious and often dark consequences. The show ran until 2002 but was cancelled. The exact reason for the cancellation has never really been confirmed but according to the creators, the general consensus was that the low ratings and high costs of production were its downfall. However, since then, Invader Zim has come to be considered one of the best shows ever released by Nickelodeon, and there is currently a Netflix film that is supposedly going to be released in the summer of 2019.

While the premise of the show was amusing with plenty of opportunities for comedy, what stood out most about the cartoon was its consistently dark subject matter. Many episodes included some creepy scenes with disturbing implications if you really took the time to think about them. To give a few examples, there was an episode where Zim discovers an invading alien race that looks exactly like human babies, only they never age and the parents never seem to notice this even as the years go by. At the end, Zim manages to scramble the aliens' minds, giving them all the mentality of babies and leaving them forever trapped on Earth in that state. Practically the alien equivalent of Locked-In Syndrome.

Then there was the episode where Zim decides he needs to have a human friend to blend in. After befriending on of the rejects who is desperate to have a friend as well, Zim realizes it's near impossible to get rid of him after deciding he doesn't need a friend anymore. In the end, Zim builds a machine that rips out the boy's eyeballs and replaces them with robotic ones, causing the boy's mind to be reprogrammed into thinking a squirrel is now his best friend. The boy ends up launching himself into some dangerous situations while trying to catch up with the squirrel and we don't see him again.

Dark humor was always the staple of the show and the part everyone loved about it. But like all shows, there is "that one episode" that stands out because everybody who saw Invader Zim remembers it.

The episode in question was called, "Dark Harvest." In it, Zim is once again afraid about not fitting in with the other earthlings after he is sent to the school nurse's office for an examination. Zim knows his anatomy is absolutely nothing like human anatomy and is afraid the nurse will discover his secret. To avoid this, Zim begins to go around the school, targeting random students and stealing their organs, replacing them with ordinary objects. The medical implications for the students are disturbing enough, but what really stands out is how Zim changes near the end of the episode. He becomes engorged, having stuffed himself with as many human organs as possible, believing that the more he has, the more convincing he will be. He is so stuffed that not only is he considerably fatter, but whenever he opens his mouth to speak, you can clearly see some of the organs, primarily intestines, just barely staying inside, sometimes even falling out in mid-sentence. The image of Zim slurping an intestine back into his mouth like it's a rogue strand of spaghetti is gross-out humor at its finest.


As notorious as the episode is, it's also a fan favorite because of just how messed up it was. However, this very episode also happened to be brought up during a teen's murder trial as some similarities between it and the crime were drawn.


In October of 2005, the body of 52-year-old Pamela Vitale was discovered in her home. She had been bludgeoned to death, suffering 26 blows to the head, broken fingers, and dislodged teeth. As she lay dying, her attacker then cut open her abdomen to expose the intestines inside, and at some point carved a symbol into her back. The symbol appeared to be some sort of signature as though her attacker wanted to claim credit for their work, and ultimately it became part of the evidence that helped lead the police to her murderer.

Scott Dyleski was the next door neighbor of Pamela Vitale, and was 16 at the time of her murder. Scott's life was not a happy one. After his parents split when he was 2, his mother moved with him from house to house before settling in Lafayette, California. Scott's life was often spent in poverty, learning to get by without electricity, plumbing, heat, or running water for years. His father made two attempts to have CPS step in, believing his son was being abused and neglected, but nothing ultimately became of this.

Some sources state that the symbol carved into Pamela's back looked identical to the signature marks Scott often put on his own artwork, while others say it was in the shape of an "H" for "Hate" that looked identical to the one found on a bumper sticker confiscated during a search of Scott's possessions. This, along with DNA evidence left at the crime as well as his footprints, led investigators to believe he was the culprit. Though he plead not guilty and never disclosed details of the murder, Scott's obsession with the human body, particularly its organs, was known among his friends. According to his girlfriend, Scott had spoken about his fantasies of breaking the necks of children as well as wondering how the human body would function with certain organs removed.

The case went to trial in 2006, during which time the episode, Dark Harvest, was brought up, indicating it may have had something to do with Scott's morbid curiosity with human organs. The comparison of Scott's desire to watch humans function without certain organs and an episode where Zim removes the organs of his fellow classmates was an easy one to make. 

Scott was found guilty of first-degree murder. During his sentencing, the judge even commented how the only emotion Scott showed during the trial, was amazement and awe at his own handiwork when the autopsy photos were revealed. Clearly, there was no remorse. In spite of his young age and the protests of many over the sentencing, Scott was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Though there was an attempt to appeal his conviction, it was still upheld and Scott remains in prison to this day.


Now, taking all of this into account, it brings us back to the question: Can the actions of an individual be blamed on the media they consume? While I haven't found any articles directly stating that Scott was even an avid watcher of Invader Zim, even if he had been, the answer for me is still no. The fact that it was even brought up in trial in the first place was a bizarre move even if some similarities could be drawn (and even then, it's still a reach). Some sources state that it was intended to be more of a joke, which would make more sense. Even so, this episode has now become somewhat associated with the case.

But rather than picking apart Invader Zim, or picking apart any media to try to blame it on a crime like this, it serves as an example that there is often a lot more going on behind the crime than relying on the easy media scapegoat. Scott clearly had an unstable life and suffered for it. While it in no way justifies what he did, it's still something that should be taken into account. The human brain, for example, does not stop developing until age 25 and the most crucial parts of human development take place during the early years of our lives. While our upbringing is not always a deciding factor in what eventually leads to a case like this, people are still far more likely to be influenced by the experiences they've had in their childhoods than they are by dark media. In fact, for a lot of people, dark media can serve as a cathartic vent when dealing with said experiences. 

I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to properly wrap up this post, so I'll simply say that if you haven't seen Invader Zim, you should check it out. It's a fantastic show.

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Tuesday, May 14, 2019

The Satanic Panic: How a Fear Movement Led to Boycotts and Ruined Lives

The year was 1999 and I was in the 5th grade, attending a Christian school. Pokemon was rising in popularity and already some of my friends were collecting and trading the cards, while I myself enjoyed the TV series. And then, seemingly overnight, something weird happened. I don't remember the exact conversation that started it, but essentially my parents informed me that I was no longer allowed to watch the show, that I could never own any Pokemon cards, buy any Pokemon toys, or play any of the video games. Pokemon was banned from our household and the reason for that was because the Pokemon themselves were demons.

At the time, my 10-year-old brain couldn't understand the logic behind this and frankly, my now 30-year-old brain still gets a headache trying to decipher it. But Pokemon was by far not the first time something had been disallowed in our home because of the implication that it could be something that supported anything representing Satan. And if you understand anything about Christianity, then you know that anything related to Satan is something to be avoided at all costs. However, it stood out the most because of how big of a deal it suddenly became out of nowhere.

Not long after I was banned from Pokemon, several of my classmates were also being told the same thing (remember, we were in a Christian school so they were all from Christian households). Most of us did not understand how on earth these characters, fictional characters at that, could be construed as demons? On top of that, we were all sent home with newsletters one day, explaining that Pokemon are demonic, that they promoted evolution, possibly witchcraft or playing with dark forces, and even went as far as to dissect the theme song from the show and explain all of its hidden satanic messages. I've since tried to find a copy of this but haven't had any luck.

This was one of many instances that I feel only a Christian kid growing up in the 90s can really relate to because when I mentioned this to some friends of mine later on in life, all of whom had not been raised with the same indoctrination that I had, none of them had even heard of this before. This wasn't as publicly broadcast as, just for comparison, the Christian outrage towards the Harry Potter franchise. The Pokemon boycott seemed to be a fairly self-contained incident within the Christian community when it originally started and even trying to explain it now is still hard because, just like back then, none of the logic behind it made any sense to me.

For anyone wondering, yes, I was upset about it when I was suddenly banned from Pokemon. I didn't collect the cards or play the games but I really loved the show and was sad to not see what new adventures Ash, Misty, and Brock would have. But I'd been assured by many other Christians that Pokemon was just a fad and would go away within a year or two...

Spoiler Alert: It didn't.
Now while my history with Pokemon may not have been as widespread an ordeal as, again, Harry Potter was, it was still the most memorable glimpse I had into a trend that had started decades before I was even born and is still somewhat around to this day.

I'm talking, of course, about the Satanic Panic.


The Satanic Panic was a fear movement that began around the 70s and arguably still continues to this day, though is not as prevalent as it once was. The components that drove this trend were a mixture of the beliefs held by Christians clashing with the changing norms in a secular society, the rise of Anton LaVey's Satanic Church, and a general spread of misinformation perpetuated by a lack of research or understanding of what Satanism actually is. Now I need to point out here that Satanism itself has a few different flavors, just as Christianity has different denominations. But for the sake of simplicity, we will be focusing on Anton LaVey's version as it was the version that most commonly fell under public scrutiny. Something else to remember is that, while I'm certain other religions have their own opinions on the subject matter I'm about to discuss, Christianity is the most widely practiced religion in the US and was therefore the most influential when it comes to this topic. In other words, I am not focusing purely on Christianity for the sake of mocking it or picking on Christians. In fact many of them do not share the same feelings and beliefs on what I'm about to describe.

During the Satanic Panic, many forms of pop cultural media were closely inspected in order to pin point their hidden satanic agendas. Most commonly, they were things marketed towards children who were considered to be the most vulnerable to Satan's influence. After all, the Christian Bible teaches that the devil is a liar and a master manipulator who "prowls like a roaring lion, waiting to devour its prey." This led some devout Christians to believe that even things as seemingly harmless as toys or cartoons could be easily used as tools by Satan to corrupt their innocent demographic.

Christian author, Phil Phillips, released books such as "Turmoil in the Toy Box," and "Saturday Morning Mind Control," as a warning against the dangers of Satan's influence through children's media. While some of his claims fell victim to several inaccuracies relating to the very media he was criticizing, they still gained enough momentum to encourage Christian followers to search for the literal devil in the details.

To list off a few examples:


The Smurfs coloring (blue with black lips) could be seen as reminiscent of death and how a corpse typically turns a shade of blue with darkened lips. Their all male community could also be seen as an endorsement toward the homosexual lifestyle, and Phil Phillips, added to this that Smurfette did not count as female, stating that her character began as male only to be transformed into a female later. This, of course, was not accurate as Smurfette, while not originally a Smurf, was always female.

Phil Phillips also claimed that the manufacturers of the Cabbage Patch dolls had a rather disturbing return policy. When a doll was received with a defect of any kind, according to him, the child could send it back to the manufacturer who would then send them a new doll that intentionally looked different from the defective one, along with a death certificate for the doll they sent back. This has been debunked but the rumor argued that this policy could be construed as an endorsement for abortion or eugenics.


While there are plenty of elements of He-Man that could and have been argued as inherently dark or evil (Skeletor's appearance being an easy example), probably the most perplexing source of scrutiny was just in the show's title, "He-Man and the Masters of the Universe." Christianity teaches that God is the true master of the universe, so in a cartoon where He-Man has taken that title, that could only imply he overthrew God.

My Little Pony, along with its magical elements that could be seen as witchcraft or manipulation of dark forces, also included unicorns and flying ponies, both of which could be tied to mythology which contradicts the Bible. Unicorns could also be seen as a symbol of the Antichrist since he is described in the Bible as the "little horn" which rises in the midst of ten horns.

There are several more examples like this within Phil Phillips' writing and while he and his books are now widely discredited as the paranoid ramblings of a nutjob, there were still some claims that were held by others like him. Probably the most notorious example of this was the speculation against the role-playing game, Dungeons & Dragons.

Dungeons & Dragons was designed by Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson and first released in 1974. The game itself is a tabletop role-playing game in which the players create characters that they then navigate and control within a fictional universe and often have their development, fates, and adventures determined by the roll of a dice (or sometimes several dice). Dungeons & Dragons includes elements such as demons, sorcery, mages, spells, and, just as the name suggests, dragons. The game is still popular and continues to have newer, updated versions released to this day.

Because of the magic and demonic summoning within the game, many Christians believed this encouraged players to literally practice magic and dark arts and fear began to spread as to who was beginning to fall victim to it. This led to the creation of various pieces of Christian propaganda, designed with the purpose to warn against the dangers of Dungeons & Dragons. A prime example of this were "Chick Tracts" which included comics that told frightening tales of how Dungeons & Dragons influenced players into committing heinous acts, from cursing family members to committing suicide.


As illustrated above, fear was the main driving force for these beliefs, and cartoons, toys, and games were not the only alleged culprits. Music was a major element to the Satanic Panic as well.


While the belief of rock music being of the devil is no longer as common among Christians as it once was, especially since Christian rock is its own genre, in the 70s and 80s it fell under heavy scrutiny. Bands such as Alice Cooper, Metallica, Iron Maiden, and even Fleetwod Mac were accused of promoting devil worship, witchcraft, and making light of the forces of darkness. The band KISS was accused of having a name that stood for, "Knights In Satan's Service." Stevie Nicks was accused of being a witch. AC/DC was alleged to stand for "Antichrist Devil's Child." Most of the claims followed the same theme of looking for the often obvious "hidden" messages, even if many of the claims were ultimately debunked. However, subliminal messages were also a component in the war against rock music.

Backmasking is the technique of recording a message that can only be heard when the track is played backwards. Playing albums backwards in order to uncover these supposed messages became a common tool to warn children about the evils of rock and roll. For example, the Beatles song "Revolution 9," when played backwards seemed to say, "Turn me on, dead man." Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" had, "Oh here's to my sweet Satan. The one whose little path would make me sad, whose power is Satan. He will give those with him 666..." Even Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust," was said to have, "It's fun to smoke marijuana." While the above artists all denied the claims of any deliberate subliminal messages, this ironically led to artists mocking the trend by actually hiding messages in their songs. Probably the most hilarious example was Weird Al's song "I Remember Larry," which, when played backwards says, "Wow, you must have an awful lot of free time on your hands."

The war on rock music had an ugly side to it as well with very serious consequences. 


In 1990, Judas Priest faced a lawsuit, alleging that their music had led to the deaths of two men. Raymond Belknap and James Vance had been drinking beer and smoking pot while listening to Judas Priest when the two wound up shooting themselves with a 12 gauge shotgun in a suicide pact. Belknap died instantly from his injuries but Vance survived long enough to claim the song, "Better by You, Better than Me," had "programmed" the both of them into committing the act. Vance eventually slipped into a coma three years later and died. The parents of both men filed a civil action against the band, claiming that they had uncovered the subliminal message "Do it," which had supposedly motivated the suicide attempt. The case, however, was dismissed though not before the band had to testify in court.


In 1999, two Columbine High School students, Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris, committed one of the most notorious school shootings in American history, killing 13 people and then themselves. The shooting horrified Americans and it was only natural to search for the reason behind the students' actions. Unfortunately, this led to false accusations that the boys had been listening to the shock-rock artist, Marilyn Manson, who is known for his dark music, satanic themes, as well as his ties to Anton LaVey and the church of Satan. 


Though the claims as to his influence were ultimately debunked, the accusations stuck and led to the artist receiving numerous death threats and the need for heightened personal security until the outrage died down. Manson went on to release the album "Holywood" with songs such as "Disposable Teens" and "The Nobodies" written as inspiration by the tragedy. In a later interview, when asked about the shooting and what he would say to the survivors and their families, Manson responded with, "I wouldn't say a single word to them. I would listen to what they have to say and that's what no one did." Unfortunately, while other bands were blamed alongside him, his name continues to remain well associated with the tragedy.

EDIT: While Manson was not responsible for Columbine, it would be negligent of me not to mention that in February of 2021, Manson was named by actress Evan Rachel Wood as her abuser. He has since been accused of domestic abuse, sexual abuse, and a number of other horrifying crimes by multiple women. The cases, however, are still under investigation so I need to stress that so far these are only allegations. We'll have to wait and see how the investigations/trials turn out but I feel the need to note this.

Musicians, however, were not the only ones who became targets.


In 1994, three West Memphis teenagers (Damien Echols, Jessie Misskelley, and Jason Baldwin) were accused and convicted of the satanic ritual killings of three young boys. The case was infamous for the complete lack of evidence behind the convictions and the town's belief that satanic practices were behind it. The three boys were known for their a shared distaste for the Bible Belt-like climate of their home town, their interest in the occult, and were known to listen to religiously criticized bands like Metallica. Despite the lack of any evidence, Jessie Misskelley and Jason Baldwin were sentenced to life in prison while Damien Echols was given the death sentence. In 2007, new forensic evidence was presented, further proving the complete lack of evidence against the three, who were now adults, and in 2010, after serving over 18 years in prison, the three were released after taking an Alford Plea. The plea allowed them to assert their innocence while also acknowledging that prosecutors had enough evidence to convict them. Though they are now free, their convictions serve as examples of coerced confessions and moral panic.


In the 80s, a technique known as "recovered-memory therapy" began to spread in popularity. The therapy was believed to help unlock repressed memories that led to many accusations of satanic ritual abuse. The biography, "Michelle Remembers," was widely used to spread awareness, though her testimony was later debunked. Other authors, such as Mike Warnke of "The Satan Seller," also wrote biographies, detailing their experiences and active involvement with satanic cults in attempts to expose Satanism. However many of these were also debunked (Warnke being one of them).


But what probably led to the most notorious case, were the claims of satanic ritual and sexual abuse in the McMartin Preschool trial. In 1983, a woman by the name of Judy Johnson reported that her toddler had been molested by the owner of the McMartin Preschool, Ray Buckey. Though the boy was unable to identify his alleged abuser through photographs and further medical examinations showed no signs of sexual abuse, Buckey was still arrested and put in jail. Parents of children who attended the preschool were then asked to question their kids to find out if any of them had also been abused, causing knowledge of the case to quickly spread. 

During the investigation, Judy Johnson's allegations continued to grow, accusing Ray Buckey's mother, Peggy Buckey, had taken the toddler to a church where he was forced to watch a baby being beheaded and then made to drink its blood. She also said that Ray Buckey sodomized her son and that other teachers in the school had taken part in animal sacrifices. Eventually this led into a full-scale investigation where parents brought in their children for questioning that typically lasted for over two hours. During the interrogations, the children underwent coercive questioning in which, though they initially denied having been abused in any way, were then given a series of leading questions and offered rewards for their answers. This led to 384 former students claiming they'd been sexually abused and in 1984, Ray, Peggy, Ray's sister Peggy Ann, the founder Virginia McMartin, and three more teachers were indicted on 115 counts of child sexual abuse, though later an additional 93 were added on. 


Though the parents of the alleged victims claimed their children had been abused, photographed explicitly, forced to partake in satanic rituals including animal sacrifice and drinking blood, and taken to secret rooms and tunnels within the school to be sexually abused, thorough investigation found absolutely no evidence of any of this. No photographs or satanic materials were ever uncovered, and even a digging effort to uncover the alleged hidden rooms and tunnels turned up nothing. However, incriminating evidence against the prosecution was surfaced, including the shady interrogation methods used on the children, and the deliberate withholding of evidence that would have shown Judy Johnson's mental instability due to paranoid schizophrenia, as well as her son's inability to identify Ray Buckey as his abuser even when presented with photographs. Seven years and $15 million dollars later, there were no convictions though the emotional damage to the children who had to endure the process as well as the emotional and financial damage to the McMartin staff who were falsely accused, had already been done.

Looking through all these instances where Satanism and its followers have been accused of being at the heart of some disturbing acts, this leads to the question everyone should have been asking in the first place: What does Satanism actually teach?


According to the "Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth," penned by Anton LaVey prior to his writing of the Satanic Bible, there are three rules in particular relevant to everything I've described above.

Rule #5: "Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal."

Rule #9: "Do not harm little children."

Rule #10: "Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food."

Along with this, it should also be addressed that Satanism and the Church of Satan, which were widely attributed to everything I've described above... don't actually believe in Satan. As in, they don't believe Satan actually exists. At least not as a supernatural entity like what's written in the Christian Bible. Instead, Satan merely stands as more of a symbolic figure. As detailed in the Nine Satanic Statements, Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence (though it does go on to explain how indulgence and compulsion are not the same thing), kindness to those who deserve it, responsibility to the responsible, wisdom instead of "self-deceit," and acknowledging that mankind are animals but with the capacity to be responsible for themselves.

While the Satanic Bible does detail certain rituals that can be performed for various reasons, it is prefaced by a warning to never practice any curses on someone who does not deserve it or do anything you may regret later or else, "...in each case you will see a reversal of your desires which will harm, rather than help, you!"

Obviously, there is even more to Satanism and this is an extremely simplified overview, but this at least covers its actual responses to the very things it's been accused of.

"Entertaining as they might be, most stories and plays about Devil worship must be recognized as the obsolete absurdities they are." -The Satanic Bible

While the height of the Satanic Panic seems to have passed and what remains seems to be once again contained within religious communities, the era still serves as a reminder of what following fear, rather than research and information, can lead to for a society. So to wrap up this entry, I'll simply close with a quote from my favorite episode of the Twilight Zone:
"The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices to be found only in the minds of men. For the record, prejudices can kill and suspicion can destroy. And a thoughtless frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all its own, for the children and the children yet unborn. And the pity of it is that these things cannot be confined to the Twilight Zone."
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Thursday, May 9, 2019

Mein Teil: How an Internet Cannibal Inspired a Song


When it comes to controversy, Rammstein is no stranger. The German industrial metal band, who is actually more popular in the US than in Germany, has had a wide variety of songs that often cover dark subject matter as well as equally controversial videos to go along with them. From accusations of supporting Germany's dark history of Hitler's regime (they don't, by the way), to just general offense for the amount of nudity and sexual content they sometimes include in their videos, they tend to be an easy target for moral outrage. One of the difficult things about Rammstein is even if you get past the language barrier (assuming you're like me and are not fluent in German), there are times when, even translated, their songs can be interpreted in a number of ways leaving behind more questions than answers. And maybe that's the point, to force you to think, analyze, and draw your own conclusions. A lot of talented artists use this technique and forcing listeners to have to think is, in my opinion, one of the best contributions an artist can give to their audience.

There is, however, one particular song that is far more obvious in its subject matter and has a creepy story to go along with it. This is the true story behind "Mein Teil," which translates in English to, "My Part."

If you haven't heard this song, here's a link to the audio if you'd like to give it a listen first.

The lyrics of the song are through the eyes of a man who is willingly offering his body to a cannibal to be eaten:
"Heute treff' ich einen Herrn- Today I will meet a gentleman,
Der hat mich zum Fressen gern- He likes me so much he could eat me up
Weiche Teile und auch harte- Soft parts and even hard ones
stehen auf der Speisekarte- Are on the menu..."

The song goes on with the willing victim describing the pride he's taking in the act and how happy he is just to be a part of it. There's also a line suggesting that he's being allowed a taste of himself and that he's enjoying it. As messed up as the scenario sounds, the idea wasn't just pulled out of thin air with the intention to shock for the sake of shock. This was actually a true story that did take place in Germany, and it all started with a disturbing ad posted on the internet.

Our story begins in 2001, when an ad was posted to a website called the Cannibal Cafe. The website, now defunct, was dedicated to those with a fetish for cannibalism and its users would either discuss their desire to indulge in eating another human, or share their stories of doing so and what their experiences were like. While there are many sites like this that are completely fake and intended to frighten anyone who happens to stumble upon them, the Cannibal Cafe was not one of those sites. It was all too real. The site has been shut down but is readily available on the Wayback Machine for the morbidly curious.


It goes without saying the warning on this page is warranted.

One of the most surprising aspects of the sites was this was not a community hidden in the deep web. This was a surface web page and easily accessible to anyone who wanted to find it. 

The ad that began it all was posted by a user named "Franky," and was titled, "Search for Young Boys." In broken English and various typos, the ad stated, "If you are between 18 and 30 y/o and have you a normal build body, than come to me, i will butchering and eating your fine flesh. Please mail me your age, High and Wigth, and if you can with a pic." As disturbing as the ad is, probably worse is the fact that several men responded to it, all of them offering up their bodies for Franky to fulfill their own fantasies of being devoured. After screening through several candidates (upwards of 200), Franky found what he was looking for and invited the willing victim into his home.

"Franky," turned out to be a 42-year-old man from Germany named Armin Meiwes, and the man who would ultimately become his meal was a 36-year-old man named Bernd Brandes. Brandes, who was also from Germany, suffered from depression and, upon finding Meiwes' ad, felt he would be the right fit for the job. They exchanged emails for over a month, discussing the arrangements before finally setting a date.

(Left: Armin Meiwes. Right: Bernd Brandes.)

On March 9th of 2001, the pair met up at Meiwes' farmhouse where Brandes was fed sleeping pills and liquid cold medicine. Meiwes then set up a camera to record everything that followed. The act began with Meiwes cutting off Brandes' penis and broiling it. Brandes, who was still conscious, asked if he could try some for himself and Meiwes served him a piece, only for Brandes to complain that the consistency was too chewy to eat. 

After this, Meiwes placed Brandes in a warm bath to bleed out while he read for over three hours and waited. Eventually, Brandes attempted to get up multiple times but collapsed from the amount of blood loss, ultimately leading Meiwes to stab him in the throat. After butchering the body, preparing it, and eating his fill, Meiwes packed away the rest of the meat and stored it away to be consumed later. However, an online friend of his later discovered he was placing new ads for more victims and alerted the authorities. 

Inside of Armin Meiwes' house where the act took place.
By the time he was investigated, Meiwes had already consumed over 44lbs of Brandes' flesh and willingly confessed to what he had done, even stating that Brandes had tasted exactly like pork. Authorities uncovered what remained of the body inside a freezer as well as the video that had recorded the entire act. The video itself has never been made public and likely never will be, though some of the jury, as well as the journalists who had to watch it, reported needing therapy after to cope with what they had seen. Screenshots have allegedly popped up online since then, but their validity is questionable to say the least. 

On January 30th of 2004, Meiwes was convicted of manslaughter and sentenced to eight years in prison. However the prosecution appealed the conviction, stating that Brandes was not mentally sound, making him incapable to truly consenting to his killing, and that Meiwes should have been convicted of murder, not manslaughter. Meiwes underwent a retrail, this time receiving a murder conviction, and was sentenced to life in prison.

While criminal psychiatrists stated that Meiwes had a "schizoid personality," they found no signs of actual mental illness. Meiwes has since expressed his deep regret for the killing and claims he hopes to write an autobiography in order to encourage people like him to seek out help before it's too late. Reportedly, since his imprisonment, Meiwes has become a vegetarian.

When the members of Rammstein learned of this case and that there was an actual video taken of the crime, they wrote the song, "Mein Teil," and later hoped they could use footage from the tape to incorporate into their music video. Unsurprisingly, they were denied access which left them to their own devices. Ultimately, it led to them shooting a video in a warehouse where they were instructed to do whatever the director wanted, each not knowing what the other was doing, and having all of it eventually compiled into what became the music video. The end result is an even mixture of confusing and creepy:


Something worth noting about the video, the end scene where the band is being walked like a pack of dogs was likely inspired by a scene from the disturbing movie "Salo: The 120 Days of Sodom," in which the imprisoned victims of the film are forced to crawl naked, on all fours like dogs.
If you're wondering if you should see this movie, the answer is no. No you shouldn't.
Despite not being able to create the music video they would have liked, Rammstein has had live performances of the song that depict the subject matter a little more clearly. And, true to their style, it involves Flake doing something weird and Till having an excuse to use a flamethrower. It's definitely worth watching sheerly for the entertainment value and a way to lighten up this topic in general:


To add an extra layer of crazy to this story, Armin Meiwes attempted to sue the band, claiming they had no right to make a song about his story without his permission. As of writing this, there are no available details on the lawsuit, but given that the song and the music video have never been pulled, it's probably safe to assume it was either dropped or never made it to court.

For those interested, Rammstein has written other songs inspired by true stories that are well worth researching and I may cover another one in a future post. They are far from the only band out there to have done this, but this just happened to be one of my personal favorites.

Sources: 


Thursday, May 2, 2019

The Body in the Chimney: The Disturbing Case of Joshua Maddux


If you've ever seen the movie Gremlins, you probably remember the random, disturbing scene where, among the chaos of those psychotic puppet monsters destroying everything on Christmas Eve, Billy's friend, Kate, takes a moment to explain why she already hates Christmas. She tells Billy that when she was a child her dad went missing one Christmas Eve and no one could find him for over a week. Then one night she went to light a fire in the fireplace and a bad smell hit her. Her mother called in the fire department, expecting it to be some sort of dead animal who had gotten itself stuck, but instead it ended up being her father, dressed in a Santa suit with a sack full of presents. He had been trying to surprise his wife and daughter by climbing down the chimney like Santa, but instead he wound up slipping and breaking his neck, dying instantly with his body remaining stuck in the chimney.

It's a completely unnerving story that adds a layer of darkness in an already dark comedy, only there's nothing funny about it which is what makes it stand out so much. No matter how poorly thought out you might think her father's plan was, it's still a scary story and a moment a lot of people remember most about the film.

Unfortunately, discovering human bodies trapped in chimneys is not exclusive to the world of cinema, and quite often the aftermath is a horrifying scene left for some unfortunate person to discover later on. Just to name a few examples, in 2010, a woman by the name of Dr. Jacquelyn Kotarac was found decomposing in a chimney after she attempted to slide down it to gain access to her on-again, off-again boyfriend's house. In 2018, a Bolivian man in Argentina attempted to escape police, while being pursued over a robbery, and wound up climbing through a chimney, only to get stuck and forced to wait for police to rescue him. While he was lucky to survive the incident, he was still arrested once he was freed.

Just looking at this makes me feel claustrophobic.
There are more stories like this but today's entry focuses on the case of Joshua Maddux, a missing teen who was ultimately discovered in a chimney.


In May of 2008, Colorado teen, Joshua Maddux, walked away from his home and never came back. Joshua was known to be something of a free spirit, talking often about how he planned to go on an adventure someday and possibly not be heard from again for a while. When he went missing, his father, Mike Maddux, searched diligently, determined to find his son all while holding on to hope that he was still alive and well. Even after he and his wife divorced, Mike remained in the family home, hoping it would mean Joshua still had a home to return to, if he ever did. 

But in 2015, Mike's worst fears were confirmed when the remains of his son were uncovered inside the chimney of an old historic cabin just a quarter of a mile away from the family home. The cabin was in the process of being demolished when an earth mover made the discovery while peeling away a steel fireplace insert within the chimney. Joshua's death was essentially ruled as "accidental by unknown causes," but there some alarming details to the scene that only added to the mystery as to what exactly happened.


The first question was how and why he wound up inside the chimney? Chuck Murphy, who owned the property in which the cabin stood, claimed there was no way Joshua could have climbed inside from the roof. According to him, there was steel rebar webbing installed at the top of the chimney specifically to keep animals from climbing inside. This raised the question of whether or not Joshua was somehow pushed inside the chimney by someone else. On top of that, it was discovered that a large wooden breakfast bar had been torn from the kitchen wall and moved to block the bottom of the chimney.

Another detail that only raised more questions was the manner of which his body was found. Joshua's feet were down and he was in a fetal position. He was wearing only a thermal shirt, naked from the waist down, and the rest of his clothes were uncovered, neatly folded, inside the cabin. However, there were no signs of stab wounds, bullet holes, or even trauma on the remaining hard tissue.

Despite the coroner's report on Joshua's cause of death, there has been reasonable speculation that his death was not accidental and that he was in fact murdered. And in a turn that is not entirely surprising for those familiar with Reddit, a user came forward in 2016, offering a potential theory as to who may have done this.


In an AskReddit thread, asking about what it was like to discover someone you knew was a serial killer, the user "gentamangina" replied with a lengthy comment, detailing how he had not only known Joshua when he was still alive, but he may have also known the killer. In the comment, he describes how they had a mutual acquaintance named Andy (later identified as Andrew Newman), who was already a little off. Joshua had become friends with Andy just before disappearing, and after the disappearance, Andy later went on to be arrested for two different murders in which the victims had been stabbed to death. Despite Andy supposedly bragging about the murders, he was released due to lack of evidence. Once the Reddit user had been made aware of these events, they immediately went to the police with several other people, trying to get them to further investigate Andy as he was likely the cause of Joshua's disappearance and later death. Unfortunately nothing ever became of it, the cabin was later demolished and Joshua's remains were cremated.

While the true cause of Joshua's death may never be uncovered, it remains an unsettling mystery with many who were close to the situation sincerely doubting there was anything accidental about it.

Sources:

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Childhood Nightmares: A Pinocchio Analysis


I probably don't need to explain too heavily why Pinocchio would be talked about on a blog dedicated to all things creepy and disturbing. But I'm going to anyways because I blocked out this movie for years over one particular scene that I'll get to in a second.

And before we go too far, I want to make clear this is purely focused on the Disney movie. My Grandpa did start to read the actual book to me as a kid but we never finished, unfortunately. I already know that the original source material for this movie was far darker, but maybe I'll save that for another time.

The strange thing about Disney's Pinocchio is that most people remember enjoying it as a kid and there was a lot of subject matter that didn't really affect them. Except for, again, that one scene, which is still coming later. What was weird to me as a kid, however, was the fact that my mom really didn't seem to like the movie and kept emphasizing that a lot of it was scary, especially if you're a parent. I sort of shrugged this off, thinking she was just being overly sensitive. My mom and I have always had different tolerance levels when it comes to horror or disturbing subject matter, after all (not to pick on her. I love my mom!).

But when you re-visit the movie as an adult, it becomes a different experience entirely. What might have seemed like a whimsical story about a puppet learning how to build up his moral compass becomes a scary story about neglect, abuse, manipulation, and just an ugly town with characters bent on taking advantage on naive kids. While I could write ballads about all of this, I'm just going to break it down as briefly as I can.

Geppetto is a terrible parent...

Now to be clear, Geppetto is not a bad person. From the start of the movie we see that he's a very sweet-hearted old man, insanely talented as a clock and toy maker, and has two pets he treats with complete adoration and affection. He is a genuinely good person.

We also see his genuine desire to be a good father to Pinocchio. When he is granted his wish from the Blue Fairy and finally has a little boy, he welcomes Pinocchio with open arms and celebrates with him. He plans to send Pinocchio right off to school so he can learn like all little kids should. All of those points are good things and his heart is clearly in the right place.

So what makes him such a terrible parent in this movie? His complete obliviousness to Pinocchio's real needs and being almost completely negligent to his son's wellbeing. From the start, it's obvious Pinocchio has no idea what being a living being entails. He doesn't understand why he shouldn't play with fire, asks why people need sleep at all, and doesn't understand what the words "right" and "wrong" mean. He is completely naive, new to the concept of being a living thing, and clearly needs some time to adapt and learn more about his new life before plunging headfirst into trying to be a normal child.

This doesn't happen. Instead, the very next morning after Pinocchio comes to life, Geppetto sends him right out the door to go to school, not only expecting Pinocchio to understand how to ignore strangers and know his way to the school all on his own, but he also anticipates the outside world to just turn a blind eye to the fact that a LIVING PUPPET is suddenly walking among them with zero explanation. Even in the magical universe that is Disney, someone's going to notice that, if not everyone. And it's likely to be a terrifying experience for them. Or, if they're more of the villainous type, it's the perfect opportunity to exploit this oddity. Which is exactly what happens. Really, nearly the whole plot of this movie could have been avoided if Geppetto had just used his head and thought about what he was doing.

Stranger Danger...

One of a parent's worst nightmares is their child disappearing without a trace. It's one of those horrible realities that people have to prepare for and take precautions to avoid. Unfortunately, Pinocchio is still brand new to the world and knows nothing about any of this (and as mentioned above, Geppetto did nothing to teach him). This makes him a very easy target before even addressing the fact that he's a freak of nature, bound to attract attention.

The fact that there are characters immediately ready to take advantage of him is terrifying, and it naturally doesn't take much to trick him. What makes it worse, however, is it happens more than once. The first time Pinocchio runs into Honest John, he gets tricked into being sold to Stromboli, an extremely angry and violent individual who locks Pinocchio in a cage and tells him that once he becomes old and useless, he'll be chopped into firewood. 

Stromboli is the first instance in the movie of what could easily be described as the Disney-friendly version of human trafficking. And that's not to downplay the horrors of real human trafficking. Obviously a work of fiction does not compare to the real thing, especially when it's a children's cartoon. But let me elaborate a bit on my reasoning for labeling it as such. Even if Pinocchio isn't being sold for... well, what human trafficking usually sells its victims for, it's still a disturbing concept. He's taken from his home by force, locked up so there's no escape, and is intended to be forced to perform in front of people for the rest of his life, which will end in a violent manner.

He is given a second chance when the Blue Fairy rescues him, but almost immediately after, he gets tricked again by the same people who betrayed him the first time. Of course they promise that this time it'll be different and he won't suffer, and he falls for it. This could be reminiscent of the cycle of abuse (grooming, violence, apology, repeat), and I can't help but wonder that if Pinocchio was taught anything about manipulative liars and how to spot someone who means harm, would things have turned out differently? 

Okay... I've stalled long enough, so let's get to...

That Scene...

If Honest John and Stromboli were only a minor reference to human trafficking, they barely hold a candle to The Coachman, who may arguably be one of the most evil villains featured in a Disney cartoon. As a kid, my mom used to talk about how she felt Stromboli was the scariest character of the movie, and while he definitely was unsettling for his brief screen time, he just didn't compare. Not by a long shot.

When we're first introduced to The Coachman, we know something's very wrong with this guy. The fact that Honest John immediately assumes he's being hired to perform a hit for him should be enough of a hint that this character is a monster.

Again, this feels like a heavy lead-in to human trafficking as the conversation takes place. He explains that he's looking for "stupid little boys" and wants Honest John to help lure them to him. After he explains he plans to then take the boys to Pleasure Island, he adds that he has no worries about the authorities catching on because, "They never come back as boys..." Obviously, you can assume that he doesn't mean exactly what this sounds like, but it's still a frightening line that I'll explain further in a second.

Pleasure Island, despite what creepy images the name alone might plant in your head, is still a messed up place but for completely different reasons. Here, the kids are encouraged to binge drink beer, smoke cigars, smash and destroy anything they get their hands on, and basically just do whatever they want (and I will admit... that kinda looked fun when I was a kid). Underage drinking/smoking aside, they're lured into this false sense of security where they can be themselves without being punished, and the friendly Coachman encourages them all to do it. All the while, the children never notice the figures in black, shutting and locking the gates so there's no way they can get out. They're trapped and unable to realize it until it's way too late. 

And then... that scene... Oh God, that scene...

We discover in one of the most horrifying scenes ever presented in a cartoon, that the children are being turned into donkeys to be sold to places like the salt mines or the circus. Even more upsetting is the ones that didn't fully complete the transformation are tossed into a pile on the side and deemed useless. We never learn of their fate but I can only assume it's not good. Watching Lampwick discover what's happening to him and frantically scream for his mother, all while knowing no one is coming to save him, is a hard thought for even a kid to swallow.

What makes this scene so much worse as an adult is having that full understanding that the children are being robbed of their humanity through the transformation and just how awful of a concept that really is. This was always a horrifying concept to me to the point where I've never been able to watch The Dark Crystal more than once because of that goddamn podling scene, and I still struggle through Willow because of the pig scene. Since we still see emotions of fear and sadness coming from the donkeys as they're being sold off, it almost dips more into, "I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream," territory. They know what's happening to them, but they'll never be able to call for help or tell anyone. Even if they were to somehow bump into their families later in life, they'll never be able to tell them, "Help! It's me! I'm still alive!" Again, this also feels eerily similar to human trafficking. They're robbed of their humanity, sold to the highest bidder, and silenced so they can never reach out for help.

"They never come back... as boys..."

Their only hope is that someone somewhere discovers what the Coachman is doing and puts a stop to it. But that never happens. There is no final comeuppance, no justice, the children are never saved, and The Coachman is likely still doing this long after the movie is over. I mean, we can hope Pinocchio or Jiminy alerted someone about this after they're safe at home again, but we ultimately never know if they did. Even after he reunites with Geppetto and gets asked what happened to him, he goes quiet and doesn't tell him and that's honestly heartbreaking when you think about the fact that he's a victim of trauma and just a child.

Now, I could write about Monstro and how terrifying that whale of a whale was, but he gets a pass because, unlike the other characters who played the villain, Monstro was just an animal. Not a vindictive, manipulative, horrible piece of garbage. Just an animal living as an animal would. If someone happened to get swallowed along the way, it wasn't entirely deliberate, it was because he was hungry. So while he is his own brand of nightmare fuel, it's not in the same way as the characters I've described above.

For the record, I am scared to death of whales and 

this movie may have had something to do with it.

Looking back, I remember loving this film as a kid and thinking it was just another story of adventure where important lessons are learned along the way. But now that I'm older, a parent, and have had a bit more life experience, Pinocchio is not what I remembered it to be. I'm not saying I don't still love the movie. I do! In fact, I've found more bits to love about it, re-watching it as an adult. But the thing is, it's far from a happy movie. Just because it has a happy ending does not mean it's a happy movie. Pinocchio embarks on a horror story of being manipulated, used, imprisoned, nearly killed several times, being made to watch as new friends are subjected to a cruel fate, and only barely managing to make it home alive. And again, he's just a child. He single-handedly goes through a gauntlet of horrors most adults will never see in their entire lifetime, just in the span of a few days.

I don't know what sort of adult he ultimately grew up to become, but I wouldn't doubt that this misadventure messed him up for a long time.

Goddess Bunny: The Performance Artist Who Became the Star of a "Cursed Video"

First and foremost, I apologize for my long absence. I was doing some research on a different possible topic only to discover a video I th...